The holidays have brought with them two extremes...the highs of starting new traditions and the anxieties of wondering if these will actually get the chance to be traditions. I didn't take the leap in to fostering with any expectations. I've said before, I simply opened my home and my heart. God did the rest. I must admit though that this time of year definitely has me in my feelings. I've begun to pray for forever. More than wondering how I could adjust to life without them, I worry about how they would adjust to life without me. We are thriving with routine and stability. We feel safe and loved and we love our life together. All. of. us.
Big has moved leaps and bounds in school. He honestly has exceeded all my expectations. I was, at one time, sure that a repeat of Kindergarten was in the future. I now realize if he continues to progress as much as he has in the first semester, we could possibly be ready to be a big first grader. I am amazed that the same little guy who was terrorized by nightmares, responded to every frustrating situation with a full on meltdown, acted out aggressively, is now the kiddo that said to me today, "Ms. Amanda, you just have to be patient!" (As I groaned about the car in front of us not moving!) He apologizes with sincerity when he's done wrong. Most of the time he walks himself to take a time out and cool off when he's upset. He knows he has to take a deep breath. He also reminds Little to do the same. His speech is becoming easier to understand and we are learning about boundaries with strangers. There was a time I felt nervous on any outing because of the lack of understanding of personal space with people we don't know or just met. We now move in and out of most appointments or trips to the store with simple reminders about making good choices and respecting others people's space. Don't get me wrong, he's still the type of kid that tells the waiter "I have to go poop!" I am never surprised at anything that comes out of his mouth because I know that at any given time he can and will say something that would embarrass the hell out of any parent. I have learned to laugh as I blush and move right along. He sticks close to me. Lollie and Pop's is probably our favorite place on Earth to visit but you better believe if it's after dark, I'm not getting out the door without Big. He needs the security of knowing I'm going to be there when he goes to sleep and when he wakes. He loves for me to sing to him as I tuck him in at night. (Apparently he's not old enough to realize I am not a great singer!) He loves everything Christmas and has filled this season with magic for all of us. His imagination continues to inspire the child inside me. We laugh and play and continue to treat each day as a new adventure.
Little is not so little anymore. He is simply not okay with me referring to him as my baby. He insists on being called a big boy and rightfully so. We are now potty trained and I can take little to no credit for this. He was ready...plain and simple. Day one went something like this...brand new underwear and a little boy that was afraid to put them on. I kinda had to trick him into them. Pottied twice in underwear and then BAM, potty trained. His words are growing by the day and continues to be an amazing communicator even without being a talker just yet. A new word this week was "home". He says it with such joy. I love that he understands home. Many never get that. He has this super power to make people fall in love with him. I think it's those baby blues. His teachers adore him and honestly I'm wrapped around his little finger. He inspires a deep love within me. A reminder that love does have healing power.
I still stand in a place where I trust God has a plan and purpose for our lives and that His will alone is greater than my desires but I am only human. As I ponder what Elfie will do his last day with us and mentally prepare for the beautiful chaos that will begin tomorrow, I thank God. I am so thankful that these holidays have been defined by happy, healthy children that are full of Christmas spirit. I am happy that THIS Christmas I will wake to laughter and giggles and more excitement than I can even imagine. I am thankful for each day and reminding myself that all any of us have is TODAY anyway. Merry Christmas from Ms. Amanda, Big and Little. May your holidays be filled with an abundance of love and laughter as well! ❤
