This lady, who is not my favorite person, asked the most bizarre question I've ever heard in my life. "If you never had any kids of your own, how do you know how to take care of a baby?"
Mothers, why did you not tell me?! Was it like the Matrix where they hook you up to something and fill you with training videos? Or was it tapes you listened to while you slept? Is there a secret society of mothers out there that trade information on a black market? I had no idea that mothers who gave birth already knew how to do this! Here I am over here "wingin it".
We had shots last week. I was totally unprepared for this. I think the excruciating, emotional toll of it all is what ultimately led to the complete and utter breakdown of my immune system last weekend. I was way more traumatized by the experience than he was. I knew I needed to be nervous, well because I'm nervous for me when I have to get a shot. We were talking about several....at once. I asked around and none of the other moms at school wanted to step in for me. This was another clue it might be worse than bad. We arrived only to find out the doctor had a special kind of torture in store. He was also going to draw blood because apparently three needle jabs to the thighs is not enough. Keep in mind this baby's arms are Pillsbury Doughboy thick. He seems to already know the pending doom being that he screams as soon as we lay him back. She jabs and can't find the vein. She moved the needle around for what felt like nothing short of 3 1/2 hours. No luck. I seriously thought, "They'll do it on the next visit...next time it'll be easier..." Nope. No such luck. She said she'd try the other arm. We turn him around and I'm layed across his legs trying to talk to him. I start bawling. Tears and snot and everything involved in an ugly cry. He's screaming and little baby tears are starting to fill his not so little baby Dumbo ears. I briefly thought of just running out. After another 5 1/2 hours she finally got blood. I pick him up and he's trying to hide inside of me. Like he can't get close enough. He's doing the hyperventilating cry. I'm constantly reminding him that I'm not the mean one. Now the shots. Lord help us. This was quick but he is still screaming and I'm still crying. It's over. Thank God. The mean nurse hands him a red lollipop and says "I know mommy probably doesn't let you have these but you earned it." One lick and he stops crying. I'm looking around the room and spot the tissues. I'm wiping my eyes and nose and apologizing for being such a hot mess. They told me I did good. This is humorous. We get to the front desk and they tell me we have to come back in a month for the second round of his flu shot. Seriously. We make it to the car. We've been at the doctor's office for like 9 hours and then I find out it's only been like 35 minutes in reality. Home. Bath. Pajamas. Deep Sleep.
You parents do this every few months for the first year of life? (I'd know the answer to this if they'd have input the training tapes!) There must be support groups. Happy Hour for moms. Something. Geez.
On a sweeter note, this baby has healed the deepest pain in my heart. A place I thought was untouchable. I can only thank God daily for allowing ME to be the one that rocks him to sleep at night. He's everything people love about a baby. His fat rolls go on for days. He has the most precious baby laugh I've ever heard. He loves to be held a little too much. He's working on crawling but seems to prefer the army crawl best. He absolutely loves dogs and chases poor Junebug around in his walker all the time. We now have four cute little teeth and have worked extra hard getting those babies in. Taking a bath brings him great joy and me a wet mess. It's our favorite time of the day.
A couple weeks ago I celebrated my 36th birthday. My aunt always said I'd be a mom by the time I was 36. I am. So far three amazing little boys have made me a mom in all the best and hardest ways. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I look forward to time with family for Thanksgiving tomorrow and this little baby boy that will bring extra joy to us all this year. May we all count our blessings. They are many. 💙❤💙💙
