Cereal and Silly Girls

I sat with sister at the table tonight eating cereal. It was way past bedtime, but we needed a snack and more importantly we needed this time. Life has been heavy for us both. So many ups and downs in the past few months. We talked about some important stuff and then ended up giggling like two little school girls. I kept saying shhhhh so we wouldn't wake up brother, but we just kept giggling. My heart swells in these moments. I can't believe I'm the one that is lucky enough to share this time with her.

We talked about Christmas. She told me that what she's most thankful for is that she will get to spend it with her brother. We already have a tree up and a few presents wrapped and what's this 9 year old most thankful for?...she will be with her brother....for the 1st time. She said she knows that Lollie and I will spoil her and so all she wants from Santa is a bike. Spoil is an understatement. I've already gone way overboard and it's not even December yet.

As happy as I was in that moment, I am scared to death. Brother's future has a whole bunch of question marks beside it right now. I can't even imagine us without him or him without us, but I know it's a possibility. It's heavy. So heavy. When I consider this, I literally have to remind myself to breathe. She knows the possibilities and we've shared several tears and lots of hugs. He recently spent a few days away from us, and we were quite lost without him.

Right now, I will have faith that God has it all worked out, remind myself to breathe, support this little girl whom is dealing with far more than most adults could handle, snuggle my baby boy every chance I get, and probably continue to do a ridiculous amount of Christmas shopping. I will not take a single moment for granted, and I will count my blessings every night as I go to sleep.

Join me in praying that these two get to share this Christmas and many many more together. Pray for the joy of Christmas to fill our home and our hearts. Pray that in the weeks ahead God will give us all the strength to face the mountains. Pray for a little girl who has found hope in the new but most definitely will feel the heartache of what's been lost.