She also has a temper and a scream bigger than seems necessary for that little body of hers. I'm learning more about her every day and love figuring out the things that make her giggle and smile.
I really thought in December of 2019 that our little family was complete. I was more than okay with that then. As 2020 passed by, we settled into just being a family. We enjoyed the long spring and summer and the extra time it leant us to just be. We grew in so many ways. In a million ways it was perfect, but somewhere in the midst of the long quarantine, my heart began to stir. Although I didn't miss the paperwork, the home visits, or the court dates, I missed foster care. Maybe it was that, or maybe it was a precious baby girl that I knew was maybe supposed to be a part of our family. I tried to push the thought aside but she was always there in the back of my mind. She already had a piece of my heart.
On Friday, my mom and I were getting ready for a garage sale when I got the call. I thought to myself, as I listened to them talk, that my response should be "let me think it over". I defaulted to yes instead. I stood there in the middle of my garage sale items and scanned for all things baby. I grabbed the car seat and pack n play, tucked the stroller into the back of the garage and walked back into my house shaking my head. Was I really going to do this again? For her, yes.
The first night I woke up at around 4am and had a good cry because I realized I had forgotten to feed my kids that evening. My friends assured me if they had been that hungry then they would have spoken up. We were so consumed with taking in this precious little whirlwind that had come through our door. Two days later I almost did it again. That night me and Abram had a lovely dinner date in the kitchen after baby went down for the night. I guess in these moments you realize how unimportant it is to get things perfect all the time. The imperfect has a way of becoming so perfect. The night before all of our first day back to daycare, school, and work, I had gotten things super organized and was so happy when everyone was in the car, happy, and on time. I think I probably even had a little smirk on my face like "look at me killin it"! We started backing out of the driveway when Abram stands up out of his car seat and says "Mom you forgot to buckle me!"
The first days are always hard...like really really hard. All you really want is time to bond and get into a groove that works with this newly changed dynamic. Life and foster care don't really work that way though. You sign the million papers, respond to the million texts, and try to talk to all the people that help all the things align. We've been running around like crazy the past few days but with the help of our amazing family, we're getting through these hard first days. My Sav is so amazing with baby girl. I swear she just blows me away time and time again with her ability to adapt and roll with the changes. Abram is having some pretty big growing pains not being the baby anymore. Let's just be real, I've babied that boy a lot. I wouldn't change it at all though. He's my baby boy forever. He's spending, by choice, a lot of extra time in his little man cave. Who can blame him? He's the only boy in a house where even the dogs are girls! I have no doubt he will adjust and thrive with the changes in due time.
We're making it work...we might not be 100% killin it, but we're definitely working together and making it work. Sometimes being a family means making sacrifices on things we want to make sure everyone gets what they need. I am beyond proud of my kids for their willingness.
We thank you all for the many many gifts that have made this transition so much easier. We ask for your prayers and especially as we travel the road of foster care again. It's not always smooth but we will press on. 💙❤💜
