I've had lots of people ask me if I'd adopt her. I've one answer to that question since I started fostering. My agreement with God was "for as long as you need me". Nothing about that has changed. The answer has a few more layers now because it's no longer just about me. Savannah, Abram and I had settled into life as a little family of 3. My home was closed to foster care and the consideration to ever foster again seemed like it would only be a possibility way down the road....then I got the call. As a family of three we said together "for as long as you need us".
Saying yes means saying yes to the hard. The visitations, bridging with biological families under undesirable circumstances, court dates, homes visits, doctor visits paperwork and more paperwork, having my own life picked apart under a microscope. Saying yes also means saying yes to an immeasurable amount of blessings. Yes to more love. Yes to snuggles on Saturday mornings in pjs . Yes to taking care of boo-boos and hearing the word Ma, Momma, and sometimes bruh followed by I love you or Luhhhh Yoouuuu. Yes to being able to provide an opportunity for siblings to break cycles of generational povery and addiction. Yes to looking at each of their same big ears and giggling to myself every time. Yes to stability and commitment to make it through this life together.
Since I haven't written in so long here's a little update on where we're at...
Savannah Ann...The Big Sis. She's 110% preteen. She mastered the blank stare months back that says "you're an idiot" "I'm cussing you out in my head", or "would you please just stop talking!". She's rockin the holy jeans and of course a hoodie in 110° weather. She's making close friends which hasn't always been easy. I think attachment is a scary thing. She's such a great helper around the house and does anything I ask to keep the house tidy. She is a bit unorganized (that'd be putting it nicely!) and that would probably be where she and I butt heads the most. I find out about everything pertaining to her needs or obligations last minute. When she struggles most, she withdrawals from me first. I don't let her. I will chase her to moon a million times to let her know I'm not going anywhere. Like it or not she's stuck with me FOREVER. She is still super passionate about archery and we love watching her in action. She's a smart cookie and when she keeps up with her homework (refer back to organizational skills) she is a kick ass student. We have lots of talks about kindness and about the kids that need it most. She works hard to seek those opportunities to just be kind. I said from the beginning she makes me a better me. I strive to be the example of a strong, kind, compassionate woman that I see her growing up to be. ❤
Abram...AKA King Abram. He thinks he's pretty much the boss of all things. He's more stubborn than anyone I know. Poor kiddo is the only male in a house full of girls! As my 3rd graders would say, he's girl trapped! Even the dogs are girls. He rolls with it. He has his little man cave where no girls are allowed without permission. You can usually bribe your way in with candy. It's been really hard on him to adjust to having baby sister in the house, but I'm watching his love grow for her. More chasing and laughing, tickling and wrestling. More moments where he asks her to sit by him and look at a book or watch his tablet with him. These moments didn't happen over night. There have been growing pains. He's started PreK this year and he loves school, his teachers and especially riding the bus. He's his normal ornery self and made it home with a couple "red faces" this month. Listening isn't his strong suit. He's an entertainer by heart. He could probably start his own podcast at age 4. He's a momma's boy and I honestly wouldn't want it any other way. We work hard though on being kind and respectful and talk lots about listening ears! He's so hilarious(without even knowing it) that even on my worst days I belly laugh at his stories. 💙
Little Sis...Our Gummy Bear. Whew, yall. I wasn't prepared. She's full speed ahead from the time she rises until the time she sleeps. She is quick and she is determined. If she wants something she will find a way. She can climb anything...I mean anything. She falls and gets right back up. She loves her family. She follows Sav around and watches her fixing her hair or cleaning around the house. She seizes every opportunity she can to dig in Savannah's box of fidgits even though she knows Savannah will get mad. She actually likes that part too as she smiles and giggles when anyone in the house chases her to get things she's not supposed to have. She thinks everything Abram does is funny and when he plays with her it makes her happiest. I have a feeling they will grow to be very close. She's an observer and wants to mimic any adult behaviors she sees. She wants to help wash dishes, fold laundry and help Pop pull weeds. Like the other two, she's a dog lover. She calls me Ma. 💜
As for me, I go to bed exhausted every. single. day. BUT my heart is so full. Self care has become more of a struggle and I know I must take care of me. I miss my monthly massge sessions and little things like having regularly shaved legs! I'm living on lots of coffee and lots of love right now. As we continue to find our groove, it'll all fall back into place. I am grateful for the hard as I've learned so much about GRACE. It has become the driving force for how I live my life...both giving it to myself and extending it to others. 💛
Thank you to all that love me and my children. Thank you for prayers, good vibes, amd well wishes. Sending my love right back to you!
