As I rocked that sweet baby to sleep tonight I thought about the weight of this walk out. I know that this is one time in my life that I might be able to make a lasting difference in his. My decisions, along with all educators in my state, in the weeks to come will directly affect what kind of education this baby boy will receive. He has 13+ yrs of school ahead of him. I want him to receive the best. The very best our state can offer him.
I have always been a teacher that connected with my students. I listen to their stories about last night's basketball game, try to learn the dances all the cool kids are doing, have lunch with them from time to time, and genuinely try to learn about the things that make them unique and special. With every passing year this becomes harder and harder. I know less about them because there are so many of them sitting in front of me and numbers continue to grow each year. There was a moment earlier this school year when I actually had to look up one of MY student's last name. MY kiddo...how does this happen? I knew in that moment that I knew this class a little less than last year's and even less than the year before. It made me so sad. I jumped on my soapbox and preached to the choir at lunch that day. They know the struggle and we've all been supportive of one another every time things have gotten a little harder in the classroom. These make shift support groups can be found in every school across our state. It's over lunch or in a group chat and although we are grateful to know we aren't alone, we are tired of sitting around and doing NOTHING to change the situation.
You see... here is what I thought about tonight in that dark room where soft lullabies played and stars twinkled on the ceiling. I have no idea how long Baby will be with me. Could be weeks. Could be forever. If he leaves me, I can only pray that God will place people in his life that he will connect with. People that will see the things that make HIM unique and special. Someone who knows his demeanor enough to know when he's angry...or when he's hurting. When I think of these people...I think of his future teachers. Lord please don't let this Baby just be another full desk in a room of 30+. Don't let his needs be overlooked. Whether he's with me or not, He will NEED special people along the way. He will NEED to be reminded that he is enough. He will NEED to be encouraged to break the cycles that have tormented his family. He will NEED HIS TEACHERS!!!
I don't know what will happen in the weeks to come and I will continue to pray about what to do, how to do it, and for the support of our community and state. Tomorrow I will wake up, drive my 14yr old vehicle to school, and do whatever I can to SEE every student that sits before me. I will continue to pray that if God needs me to give one of them a little extra encouragement that I will recognize that. I pray I will never be too busy or overwhelmed with the numbers to stop seeing the hearts. Please pray with me! If ever a time we've needed it... THE TIME IS NOW!
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